Top 10 Lane Kiffen Recruiting Tactics
#10 - Directs his scouts to look for recruits who have been in Juvenile Detention
and/or have long rap sheets.
#9 - Threatens recruits who are on the fence with a Fedex package from Al Davis.
#8 - Tells parents of recruits that all his players will graduate with Honors...Wink. Wink.
#7 - Uses hypnosis on recruits to convince them that Urban Meyer is the Anti Christ
and wants to steal their souls.
#6 - Promises recruits that he has the power to manipulate the BCS in Vols favor -
even when they lose.
#5 - Shows recruits clips from The Longest Yard instead of Tennessee game tape.
#4 - Organizes Spring practice paintball wars between the Offense and the Defense.
#3 - Arranges dates for recruits with his smokin' hot wife.
#2 - Offers recruits clean sheets, three squares a day and no bars on dorm windows.
#1 - Every recruit gets a pellet gun on signing day.
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